We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Part​/​Whole

by .ponder

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
Enough 03:19
Am I Enough? To create the world I want to see? Am I Enough? To Conquer the doubt inside of me? Am I Enough? To crush every opportunity? Am I enough? I am enough. Fear creepin’ in but I won’t let it win. Fear creepin’ in but I won’t let it win. Mind ain’t listen so I said it again. Body won’t move and the doubts sneakin’ in. Pull myself together and I’m shiftin’ my mentality Play life like a game that requires the right strategy, I Want the outcome up to me, Increase the probability, see Change as opportunity, and visualize my victory. Am I Enough? To create the world I want to see? Am I Enough? To Conquer the doubt inside of me? Am I Enough? To crush every opportunity? Am I enough? I am enough. Fear creepin’ in but I won’t let it win. Fear creepin’ in but I won’t let it win. Mind ain’t listen so I said it again. Body won’t move and the doubts sneakin’ in. Don’t curse your worth by being risk averse, tell me what is Worse, working to extremes it seems to live a pipedream or the Nightmare of scheming, to live in a mainstream Dream that make you scream, till its cuts off your airstream. Am I Enough? To create the world I want to see? Am I Enough? To Conquer the doubt inside of me? Am I Enough? To crush every opportunity? Am I enough? I am enough. Fear creepin’ in but I won’t let it win. Fear creepin’ in but I won’t let it win. Mind ain’t listen so I said it again. Body won’t move and the doubts sneakin’ in. [Sigh] I am enough It’s tough, but doubt keeps me handcuffed. It’s rough, but just like a diamond, the Pressure and polish, will lead to me shining.
2.
Stranger 04:57
Creep creep creep on my mind it’s a sign, somethings Up to no good, a nefarious design, and my Shine tends to blind while i’m steady on my grind but to- Day i feel the shadow of a force I cannot find. Throwing Shade that degrades my ambition, I’m amazed at the Power of this feeling, hypnotic in it’s sway, I make a Way through the darkness but the path become a maze, and a Way that seemed familiar has me staring in a daze, I’m ap- Palled after all, I spent my life standing tall, seeing Over the walls put there to force a stall, ready to Give my all, go harder after last call, but to- Day if i should stumble I may surely fall, Rock of Gi- Braltar falters and dissolved when I sought her, lost my Sure footin’ when, I tried to walk on water, this force Swallows my faith, a wraith that stealthily waits, for that Moment to strike, and leave despair in it’s wake. Each day I rise, I see a stranger in my place, who Shares my eyes and he wears my face. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. I’m Searching for the man, this stranger replaced. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. I’m Feeling erased. I’m feeling erased. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. Each day I rise a see a stranger Danger, danger, sinking deep and I’m drowning. Anger, anger, this new feelin’s ungrounding Stranger, stranger, creeps into your surrounding Banger, banger, the creepin’s changed to pounding, as he Assaults my mind, weakens my will and my drive, this stranger Breaks into my home just to assert that he owns me, my Sense of security becomes sweet distant memory, if i’m not safe in my head and i’m not safe in my body, I’ll re- Strict all my movements and confine where I tread. This stranger’s Sowing his poison, watch his tentacles spread. A Hostage to a sadness that I cannot explain, twenty Three in the hole, o my soul, i’ll go insane, my brain Cant sustain, all the strain from these chains, feel con- Strained, inhumane, i’m detained, here again. What do i Gain from this darkness, arctic winds with their harshness, man it Feels so heartless, I reach up for catharsis. Each day I rise, I see a stranger in my place, who Shares my eyes and he wears my face. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. I’m Searching for the man, this stranger replaced. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. I’m Feeling erased. I’m feeling erased. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. Each day I rise a see a stranger A story untold, when despair takes it’s hold, no Words to describe what I’m feeling inside, if this was Poker I’d fold, monopoly pay the toll, resigned to Walking this line between downtrodden and fine. But That’s not where the journey ends instead it begins, because I’m Learning resilience and I’m rising again. Moti- Vate and believe that I have something to give, remember- Ing to honor our purpose each day that we live. Each day I rise, I see a stranger in my place, who Shares my eyes and he wears my face. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. I’m Searching for the man, this stranger replaced. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. I’m Feeling erased. I’m feeling erased. Each day I rise I see a stranger in my place. Each day I rise a see a stranger Remembering to honor our purpose every day that we live Remembering to honor our purpose every day that we live Remembering to honor our purpose every day that we live Remembering to honor our purpose every day that we live
3.
Open your eyes and see, What Happiness is meant to be. Letting go, and being present, balanced and free. Open your eyes and see, What Happiness is meant to be. Letting go, and being present, balanced and free. I, used to care what people think, internalized inside of me, a Detrimental quality, when it takes the place of being free. Freedom to love the things I love, loving the things I want to do. Doing the things that’s real and true, ‘cuz somethin’ inside me says that’s you. Cuz Something inside me said that’s you! A voice that screams into the void. Looking to find that self we void, a fraudulent check we want destroyed. An- Achronistic out of place, like a self that feels so unaligned. A Basic truth of human nature, follow the crowd’s our grand design. Follow the crowd’s our grand design? We choose the crowd so we survive, we Choose familiar to stay alive. We choose unique so we can thrive. Mis- Stakinly synonymized, suvivings trying not to die. To Thrive is showing up to fly. High High High High. Should I do you or I do me? Or you do me or you do you? If the Goal’s survive and not to thrive, then follow the crowd is what you do. But I Wanna thrive, and I wanna fly, I Wanna fly and I wanna soar, my Grand design is to be me, and Cruise the heaven’s like Thor. Open your eyes and see, What Happiness is meant to be. Letting go, and being present, balanced and free. Open your eyes and see, What Happiness is meant to be. Letting go, and being present, balanced and free. Opened my eyes to me soaring soaring soaring after Taking a leap, from another life story, I was free… Like an Ohio player, open skies and possibilities as I move through the air. Priorities, have shifted from the ladder to the love, no more rat race or chase unless I vibe with what a- Bove, or the universe aligns, to give me a Sign, that my divine order of steps leads to this ladder to climb. Open my wing to cath the current current current. Getting Lift from my dreams as I ascend above deterrents. At Eighteen years old I had a ten year plan, If I Follow this plan, the future’s wrapped like, saran. Go to School graduate, be a doctor, make some money, but the Best laid plans can miss the lessons of the jouney. A Plan is meant to guide us be we dream outside the lines and we’ll Never see those dreams if we’re confined. Life, Deals in hard lessons, but the hardest of them all, is to Never compromise when they’re making you feel small, your con- Viction is a sword, and your resilience is a shield, keep them Enemies at bay, and slay those dragons in the field, let your Light shine in their eyes, and you don’t apologize, cuz the Light they get to see, is their blessing in disguise, praise the Lord halleluiah, tell the saint sittin’ next to ya, that we Out here saving souls, through our light hashtag goals. Open your eyes and see, What Happiness is meant to be. Letting go, and being present, balanced and free. Open your eyes and see, What Happiness is meant to be. Letting go, and being present, balanced and free.
4.
Music Man 04:17
Ninety, Four, Ninety five I brought the song flute to life, playing Hot cross buns with a smile getting hype, cuz I Saw seven keys with limitless possibilities, to Make people groove their bodies move to the tune, to the Sound of the music feeling so therapeutic, to Create this moment with my mind, heart and hands, I couldn’t Understand, but I was witnessin’ the Birth of a passion seep into my glands, four dollar Plastic fantastic, ecstatic practice fanatic, learning the Magic and tactics to make my skills automatic. I Graduated from the rhymes of nursery, slowly Started learning musical ABCs. No more Hot cross buns, no more row row your boat, playing the Dip by Freak Nasty with a few simple notes. Kilo A- Li’s nasty dancer just for show in the class. This love for Music is something that will never pass. Metamorphosis the name of the game. When it comes to this music, it ex- Cites, it delights, it ignites, gets me Hype. When it comes to this music, ah Ah. When it comes to this music. When it comes to this music, it ex- Cites, it delights, it ignites, gets me Hype. When it comes to this music, ah Ah. When it comes to this music. Five year’s later but the endgame still the same, ninety Nine to oh three I repped that gold and green, playing Classical jams in the wind symphony, but the Music of Wagner and the pieces by Copeland never Moved me the same as play in stadium stands talk is Cheap sound is real. When we step on the field, instu- Ments bringin’ heat, we punish turf with out heels, and a Routine inspired, by Earth, Wind, and Fire, We Tryna groove tonight as the trumpets get higher, from the Fields to jamborees to handle cross town rivalries, I get the Squad hype by crankin’ notes to We Ready, Ain’t No Play in GA, followed by smokin’ on hay. Splittin’ Ear drums and souls cuz our swag is so cold. Our Band was nice, we cut with musical knives, combining Classical precision with ATL vibes. The ener- Gy we command, with music penned by my hand, under- Standably made my love of music expand. Prepare for a musical fanfare. When it comes to this music, it ex- Cites, it delights, it ignites, gets me Hype. When it comes to this music, ah Ah. When it comes to this music. When it comes to this music, it ex- Cites, it delights, it ignites, gets me Hype. When it comes to this music, ah Ah. When it comes to this music. Once again I let the inspiration hit in oh seven oh nine, I redefined, my Preestablished musical paradigm, cuz I Wasn’t just a player or a music rearranger but I Had the makings of a musical originator. The Capactiy to Picasso on a track. Painting Musical canvasses that seem abstract until you Analyze the deconstructed parts and find a Deeper story in a complex art piece. Increased beats L.Dot emcees over Late night pancakes and omelettes with cheese. Strings like raindrops my heart stops each Time Hazel sings with my beat as the backdrop Gave a beat to Reo and we called it Raw, cuz the Beat and the bars made haters clench up with lockjaw. Khamaa came along and we did some songs, about an Insecure lover and a love gone wrong. And this is my musical love song. When it comes to this music, it ex- Cites, it delights, it ignites, gets me Hype. When it comes to this music, ah Ah. When it comes to this music. When it comes to this music, it ex- Cites, it delights, it ignites, gets me Hype. When it comes to this music, ah Ah. When it comes to this music.
5.
It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by, when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by, when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. Fresh off the boat, their freedom taken away, Sweat Blood and tears is the price that they paid.To Be in a land they didn’t wanna be in, they black Skin a sin, they sold again and again. Sam is Splittin up kin, and he’s sellin’ they babies. Colonizers think they only good for slavery. But They know the truth, within a distant land. That Power resides within their bound and bloodied hands. It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by, when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by, when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. My ancestors knew who they were, even as the new World had an image they preferred. Fast forward to to- Day and the image the preferred of the negro and the african is treated like the good word. History is Blurred with the musings of the hateful and the ignorant. Black and brown minds being faced with disfigurement. And Spirits under threat of dismemberment, remember this: Black is divine, don’t let em steal our shine It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. We build futures that they dreamed Reaching heights they’ve never seen We rise lifted On their wings We’re their children The children of kings It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings. It’s not enough to be good, when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to be great when we’re descended from kings, it’s not en- Nough to get by when we’re descended from kings, when we’re de- Scended from kings, when we’re descended from kings.
6.
7.
Turn-Up Life 04:39
Pull up to the club, quarter past Nine, had to come early cuz I hate standin in Line. Fresh and feelin’ fly and I’m catchin people’s Eyes, either cuz they like my style or thinkin’ I ain’t even Try. Got joggers on hoodie on vans on I’m down to get lit if I’m comfortable. Headed to the bar, don’t make it very Far, cuz the crowds to thick and I’m gettin’ pissed Off! Plus twenty for a drink, it was fifteen last Week! Had a whole bottle of whiskey I could drink right by my Sink. But its okay its a vibe and the mood is Kickin in. Spent the week grinding clockin Out and in. So i’m all about the turnup as the dj starts to Spin. Oh that’s my jam and it…..nevermind. Cuz the dj switched it up before I lost my mind. Matter fact it ain’t a DJ it’s just spotify. This is for my people that gave up on the turn up. People Fightin’ hard to stay awake till the sun comes up. Getting worn out by that energetic blitz, till you Ask yourself, should I even leave my couch for this? This is for my people that gave up on the turnup. People Happy to be on the couch instead of the club. Watchin’ Must see tv with a blanket on your knees, sippin Whiskey, eatin wings, doin’ anything you please. Crew steps inside now its finna get live. But First we gotta catch up on everybody’s lives. How you Doing? What’s new? My lifes improvin’ how bout you? How’s the Baby? New investment? Hate your job? Got a boo? The Music made it hard to hear but we tried any way Then our focus shifts to how long we gon’ stay? What we Got to do tomorrow that warrants leavin’ early? Plus the DJ won’t come on till it’s close to eleven-thirty. We Set our mind on midnight and we find a spot that feels right. But Not right on the dance floor near a table and a door. So we Have something to lean on while we dance with arms and hands and we Have the easy option to leave earlier than planned. We start to get into it and the DJ is a hit. Bumpin’ Songs with 808 kits its impossible to sit. But After 30 minutes of pushin’, jumpin, and shovin’. We Saw our energy shift to bummin’ and doin’ nothin’ This is for my people that gave up on the turn up. People Fightin’ hard to stay awake till the sun comes up. Getting worn out by that energetic blitz, till you Ask yourself, should I even leave my couch for this? This is for my people that gave up on the turnup. People Happy to be on the couch instead of the club. Wait Wait wait...what am I even doin’ right now? Seriously, where’s my couch. This is more my speed, cuz all i really Need, is peppermint diffuser mist and lights of blue and Green. Bougie pshhh please, I just know my ener- Gy, I do turnup but need three days of recovery. Couch lookin’ at me like a long lost friend, thick and thin, I depend on this upholstered Cotton blend. The sanctity of home, my very own kingdom and my very own throne. No need to feel ashamed of the emperor’s new Robes when I walk around alone. Like my own fairground of amusement. Watch a movie, take a nap, or make me some music. Or maybe drink some wine, and dine. This New adult turnup, it suits me, just fine. A Long day end a long week. Instead of clubbin’ I do this for me. This is for my people that gave up on the turn up. People Fightin’ hard to stay awake till the sun comes up. Getting worn out by that energetic blitz, till you Ask yourself, should I even leave my couch for this? This is for my people that gave up on the turnup. People Happy to be on the couch instead of the club. Watchin’ Must see tv with a blanket on your knees, sippin Whiskey, eatin wings, doin’ anything you please.
8.
How can I own the ocean, Tell me how can I hold the sea, If it was in my capacity. I’d try, you’d see. The Depth of your being to me. Is past what I can hold humanly. The warmth of your energy. Envelopes my soul so fully Whats in our future to be Love and Deep intimacy. Or Riding the waves of ecstacy. Whatever it is, I’m ready. Will you be the moon to me. Push and pull on my heart strings Reflect all thats good in me Be a force of nature that makes my heart sing. I do see my life with you. Plant my roots grow something new. Rain or shine we’ll make it through Cuz I know my sun shines, brighter with you. How can I move a mountain, Tell me How can I count the sand? It may seem like a lot to withstand. But I Will, and I can. A life of one million demands. Is easy if near you I stand. Take life from good to grand. With the honor of having your hand. Love that forever expands. Like the Stars in the sky above the land. My heart is yours to command. Cuz I know in my heart, you’re a part of my plan. Will you be the moon to me. Push and pull on my heart strings Reflect all thats good in me Be a force of nature that makes my heart sing. I do see my life with you. Plant my roots grow something new. Rain or shine we’ll make it through Cuz I know my sun shines, brighter with you.
9.
Role Model 04:49
WHen I was young you’d carry me, Safe in your arms I knew I’d be, Strength and protection, love and affection Were mine As I grew up you guided me Clearing the path so my feet felt free Free to move boldly, no hidden toll fees To confine me. I grew up, thinking that I had to be your Had to be your Biggest Fan, but on the Day you passed away, I met the rest of the Fan Club Some you inspired, others just admired The way you were wired, your kindness they desired It made your fans inquire, did I grow up to be Just like you...I said He’s my role model He’s my role model I follow, your Actions, your Words, and I’ll Always remember Forever humble Gentle and peaceful I’m grateful, to live in a World, where you left your impression In your last month I carried you Praying your body would renew Giving you smiles when, deep down inside I Cried As you dozed off for the last time I told you stories on my mind Hopeful my voice would, keep your last bedtime Away I grew up, thinking that I had to be your Had to be your Biggest Fan, but on the Day you passed away, I met the rest of the Fan Club Some knew your brilliance, others your resilience Your spirit and your presence, the power in your essence. It makes sense why, I’d want to be just Like you He’s my role model He’s my role model I follow, your Actions, your Words, and I’ll Always remember Forever humble Gentle and peaceful I’m grateful, to live in a World, where you left your impression Rejoice I say again rejoice Rejoice Though you have not seen him, you love him And even though you do not see him now, you Believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy For you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your Souls.
10.
Honor our purpose, every day that we live. See deep inside we all have something to give. See God’s wisdom when you Trust in your hands, You Don’t need the plan, to cre- Ate something grand Purpose fill me dreams come through I am ready to re ceive you I will leap out on faith I will show up to fly I will live in my purpose each day that I rise HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. When I felt weak, you re- Minded me, I’m strong. My inner voice said, take a Beat and find your song. Seen your struggle, to embrace, the Fullness of your worth. Don’t think, just breathe, and when you’re Still you’ll shake the world heart is open hands are Too I am ready to believe in you I will leap out on faith I will show up to fly I will live in my purpose each day that I rise HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live. Hope that we live. HOPE that we live.

about

This album represents an exploration of the parts that have made me whole and also explores what it actually means to be and feel whole.

This album covers a lot of ground: loss, depression, grief, but also joy, motivation, and resilience.

credits

released July 10, 2020

Music + Lyrics: me! (.ponder)
- We Are Kings Lyrics: Nicole Young
- H.O.P.E. That We Live Lyrics: Kara Alexis Young

Produced by: .ponder
Sound Engineering: Miles Lassi
Mixing/Mastering: Nathan of Sound Cellar Recording

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

.ponder Oakland, California

Wannabe superhero. Passionate music producer and artist experimenting across musical genres: hip-hop, trap, pop, funk, electronic, and soul.

contact / help

Contact .ponder

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like .ponder, you may also like: